The seat from Hell

I took the day off of work, and after my appointment at the doctors office I decided to go to the mall. Scary I know, but I haven't been in a long time and it was still early enough to go without it being too crowded. After walking around some I went to see what was playing in the theater, I decided on "Despicable me". I won't go into the outrages movie prices or the absolute ridiculous refreshment prices, because well I did pay them.

So lets say I ranted about that and move on. When I went to take my seat, what did I find to my complete and utter annoyance, but seats that were made for people who are super model thin. But that you can usually work around, since in all the theaters that I have been to; you can lift up the arm rest. But wait there is another surprise waiting for me, the armrests don't move. At this point its too late to go to a different movie theater, the ticket had been paid, the refreshments have been gotten and the movie will start in a few minutes.

I was now standing over the seat I picked visualizing my Extra Plus Booty getting into this little seat, and actually getting out of it at the end of the movie. I finally sat down thinking that there was at least a 95% chance of me wiggling out of the seat, and only a 5% of me being stuck and having the most embarrassing day of my life.

Once I made the decision and sat down, I was now trying to find a comfortable position. No Such Thing in this little theater seat from Hell. I ended up slouched with me repositioning my legs every five minutes during the whole movie, and in the back of my mind a thought that kept running through my head, think thin, think thin..........

Luckily there were 10 other people at the movie, so I could easily wait until they leave to try to get out of the Hell seat. With moves that would do any kinder gardener proud, I scooched, wiggled, pulled and finally groaned my self out of the seat. Best part of this whole mess, no one is around to see me heft my considerable self out of a seat made for a five year old.

So to conclude this rant, If anyone is reading this blog and you are overweight, do not go to the movies at the Clackamas Town Center Theater if you don't want an uncomfortable time.

On the Plus side, I did really like the movie, I'm thinking of going again but at a movie theater that has better seating.